Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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