If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
