It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize