First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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