? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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