Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
