soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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