I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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