Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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