What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
