Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
