we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
