morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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