"it" just moved
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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