she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
