ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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