He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
