dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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