Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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