office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
