im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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