She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
