I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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