if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
