there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
