i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
