I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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