just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
