I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
