The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
