No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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