We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
