I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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