I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize