it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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