I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
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This house was built for laser tag.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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