I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
