Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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