I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
