She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
