He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
