There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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