I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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