Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's shark week go big or go home
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
