what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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