sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
