So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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