Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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