I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
