We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
