We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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