my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
