does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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