You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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