she was so not down for the gang bang
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
