I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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