Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
