I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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