Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
