I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
