his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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