I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
